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All We Need!
A Publication by Alex Nosa Ihama - Nov 2007
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out
how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have
done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually
in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood,
who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again;
because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but
who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm,
the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at
the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who
at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly;
and his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who
know neither victory nor defeat.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
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One of the things we do well as human beings is to
complain, to be quick in identifying where doer of deeds could have
done them better, and even quicker in identifying what is wrong in everyone
around us, everything people do, every machine, process, policy, event,
et al, rather than commending the associated efforts. Those who are
in denial of this fact are likely those who complain the most, for we
all know somebody who never seem to be satisfied no matter what – a
very demanding boss, grumbling employee, harsh parent, whining child,
politicians, and even religious leaders and congregations that should
be cognisant of God’s biblical command to “do everything without complaining”.
Hear this: Despite miraculously crossing the Red Sea on dry land, the
Israelites were said to have complained against Moses and God almost
immediately after!
Meanwhile, we all agree that we could use just a little, regular
dose of encouragement from the people around us, even though we hardly
receive any - and most likely hardly give any, too. And of
course, we blame this "oversight" on our busyness, our lack of time,
our forgetfulness. In fact, the word "encouragement" is basically extinct
in our workplaces, and becoming unpopular in our homes as well. Meanwhile,
the feeling that our spouse, boss, coworkers, neighbours, friends, family,
children, parents et al seem to only notice all of what we do wrong
and barely anything we do right is becoming so prevalent and discouraging
that many people no longer aim for the very best, but rather aim just
to avoid the worst. It is no doubt that the world is more sophisticated
and richer than ever before, but somehow, mainly due to greed, lack
of integrity and outright wickedness, the world has crossed over from
been discouraging to depressing. News from around the world filled with
increasing wars and rumours of war, homicides and suicides, petty thefts
and corporate frauds, violence and terrorisms, teenage pregnancies and
immature fathers, poverty and emerging terminal diseases, and now, the
subtle elimination of human lives through abortions and euthanasia.
What you do or say every minute of the day is directly tied to how encouraged
the people around you will be. If you are not about being encouraging
to others, you have likely become discouraging to them. All
it takes for us to help make this world a better place is really to
notice the effort of others much more that the obvious improvement opportunities.
From my experience as a Life Coach,
I strongly believe that your life can never be empty if all you do is
seek to fill the lives of others! And this, I am committed to doing
all my life. Give me a hand, and I will walk a mile with you. Give me
some encouragement, and I will carry you in my heart forever. We are
quick to identify those who seem to purposely seek encouragement, when
in actual fact, we should look no further than ourselves.
As if the current state of the world is not depressing enough to carry
in our head even minute of the day, why even bother sharing that “constructive
criticism” with someone who you never take the time to encourage, especially
since he or she may be directly tied to these prevalent pains and chaos
in one way or the other? Why miss the opportunity to enrich someone
on your way to work with a smile or friendly stare instead of maintaining
that cold face? Why not energize your families and friends with a “Have
a GREAT Day” on your way out instead of being so ungrateful for the
gift of life by choosing to be moody so early in the morning? Why,
for the sake of your own principles, standards and expectations, give
up your right to be great and influential by withholding words of encouragement
from the people that you are fortunate to be around? In the
words of Apostle Paul, “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be
cheated? But instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong (by withholding
encouragement from others), and you do this to your brothers and sisters”.
Of the responsibilities we have in the world today, like being
protective of endangered species, mindful of environmental pollution
and global warming, philanthropic and engaged in communal volunteering,
effective in leadership, and planting more trees than is being consumed,
all of which are very noble and encouraging deeds, the most critical
one is the duty of encouraging those around us everyday. This
is what the world needs – way much more than the things we think it
does! As we go about our day inspiring others with hope, courage, and
confidence, freely giving them support, stimulating and spurring them
with courage and spirit, they will in turn start doing the same. According
to Proverbs, “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Also,
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the
bones.”
Continue...
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II
The 10 Simplest Ways to Live a Life
of Impact
Be quicker to provide positive feedback than constructive ones.
If you never encourage people when they make effort, you have no business
providing them constructive criticisms.
Be quick to respond to your emails and voicemails, and even
messages like this newsletter. Don’t procrastinate or else
you may never get to it, for a brief call or email in time encourages
another. Encourage us, send us your feedback!
When you compliment others, be very specific. Rather
than saying, “You look great!” it is more encouraging to say, “You look
great in that dress!”.
Use your silence and absence wisely, for it discourages the
people who long to see you or hear from you. Like Martin Luther
King once said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends”.
Are you fortunate to have friends? Consistently support them,
especially when they reach out to you. As humans, we often
find it difficult to seek the help of people who often turn us down;
thus first think about how to encourage them rather than the ‘important’
activities we often overwhelm ourselves with. Besides, it may be the
last time you see them.
Are you privilege to be a manager or other form of leader? Never
leave your place of work without having complimented those you lead,
for the desired productivity is closely tied to how encouraged your
staff are. Employees are refreshed when managers stop by their desk
to say “Hello”, and ask after their families. You and I know that life
is not all about work. Be the leader you want your leader to be!
Are you blessed enough to still have a spouse? Then make the
exchange of compliments a consistent habit in your relationship, for
your marriage largely depends on how encouraged your partner is.
Be each other’s #1 Fan! In fact, the underlying reason for divorce is
when a partner no longer feels encouraged by his or her partner. In
other words, when the wife no longer takes the time to encourage the
husband, his marital motivation weakens and slowly dies. Truly, you
do not want someone else out there encouraging your spouse more than
you do!
Are you blessed enough to have children? You must compliment
them more than you reprimand them, for your top parental goal
is to make your home where your children feel loved the most. Are you
blessed enough to still have parents? Then never let them miss you!
Hug them always!
ALWAYS accept responsibility for your actions, regardless of
how minute they may seem to you. Refrain from making excuses,
complaining or blaming others. If you make a promise, keep it, for your
words are commitments, whether documented or not. Saying sorry is the
most encouraging thing we can offer to the offended. Humble yourself!
Be quick to phone or email people immediately after having sudden
thoughts about them. In this way, when they call you, you will
not find yourself saying, “I have being thinking of you”. Remember that
life is like water on a boiling pot; from cold to hot is quick, and
evaporation is imminent.
If we only knew how much we all actually desire encouragement, we will
not withhold it from one another. Encouragement is the cheapest gift
we can give to people, and yet the most appreciated. All it takes is
a smile, an uplifting remark, a friendly stare, a compliment, a gesture,
a slight deviation from our natural state of selfishness. Our mind is
the driver of our body, which is the vehicle, while encouragement is
the gasoline the body needs to operate. For sure the vehicle is able
to maintain high speed even when low in gasoline, but we are never willing
to drive it too far with no gas station in sight. Remember that Jesus Christ once said that all the laws may be summed up into two: "Love God and love your neighbours", which means have great relationships . . . with God and everyone else. Successful people and businesses know this, and act likewise.
Now, go encourage someone and see your life filled with encouragement.
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Thank you for reading this newsletter! We rely on your feedback for
encouragement, as well as to identify ways to better serve you. So please
email your feedback directly to alex.ihama@theexhortation.com,
and you will get a personalized reply within a few days. To have this
exhortation delivered in-person to your organization or church, in either
the form of a keynote speech or workshop, contact
us. To register for Life Coaching
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| Quote of Encouragement |
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Despite the ugliness of the world, we are BEAUTIFUL within. Despite the weakness
of the body, we are POWERFUL within. (Alex Nosa Ihama)
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